Dream of July 3, 2002

This dream seems to be telling me that, in the end, there is no safe way to enact the retrograde circulation that makes the unconscious conscious:

I am trying to escape from a woman who frightens me. The idea is to find my way home, to safety, by a kind of circular movement that runs counter to the usual routes. I have to work my way back in an unexpected fashion if I don’t want to be discovered. This involves moving through darkened streets that are off the beaten track. These side streets or back streets are familiar to me.

Is there a promise of safety in these streets? The path to safety is off the beaten track, through the familiar, the unobtrusive, the inconspicuous. Apparently, I will not be noticed if I slide inconspicuously into these back spaces, working my way home in this manner. To avoid exposure to the force of the woman I so greatly fear, I have to play it safe.

In the dream’s finale, I’m climbing a circular or spiral staircase, moving counter-clockwise. Suddenly I sense that, coming down from above and moving clockwise, is a woman holding a baby or child. I am so panicked by this that I wake up moaning.

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The dream may speak to my ambivalence about my work on the unconscious: while it feels quite safe to think and write about making the unconscious conscious, actually doing it terrifies me!